Home Page2020-02-20T00:54:03-08:00
Loading...
Loading...

Get My Podcast Delivered Directly to Your Inbox!

Get My Podcast Alerts!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

About Me

Most days, you’ll find me driving my kids around, watching Real Housewives, cussing at the pile of laundry that never ends and laughing at the hilarious things my kids do. I am always ready to hop in the car and find my next adventure, even if it’s just Target.

I thought I had life figured out until my daughter Remy was born 7 years ago. She came into this world as perfect as can be but then everything changed. When she was 9 months old, she had seizure that would change her life in a way I could never have imagined. From hospital stays, developmental delays, a diagnosis of autism and rare form of epilepsy called PCDH19, I didn’t have the kind of tools I needed to navigate the world of special needs parenting.

About Me

Most days, you’ll find me driving my kids around, watching Real Housewives, cussing at the pile of laundry that never ends and laughing at the hilarious things my kids do. I am always ready to hop in the car and find my next adventure, even if it’s just Target.

I thought I had life figured out until my daughter Remy was born 7 years ago. She came into this world as perfect as can be but then everything changed. When she was 9 months old, she had seizure that would change her life in a way I could never have imagined. From hospital stays, developmental delays, a diagnosis of autism and rare form of epilepsy called PCDH19, I didn’t have the kind of tools I needed to navigate the world of special needs parenting.

The Podcast

In my podcast, you’ll hear raw and vulnerable insights into the world of special needs parenting. I cover topics that parents face raising children with neurological disabilities.

With a mix of inspiration, honest stories and actionable tips; my goal is to help you realize your power to be the parent you always dreamed, even if that’s in a different package than you expected.

Your child’s here to change the consciousness on our planet.  You hold the key to help them shine their amazing light into this world.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Podcast

In my podcast, you’ll hear raw and vulnerable insights into the world of special needs parenting. I cover topics that parents face raising children with neurological disabilities.

With a mix of inspiration, honest stories and actionable tips; my goal is to help you realize, you have the power to be the parent you always dreamed, even if that’s in a different package than you expected.

Your child is here to change the consciousness on our planet and you hold the key to help them shine their amazing light into this world.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST!

Podcast Reviews

Podcast Reviews

Recent Instagram Posts

When we realized my daughter had special needs, I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen. ⁠
⁠
I cried, thinking about her future. Thinking about how she was going to be different. ⁠
⁠
Wondering how I would raise a daughter with a completely different operating system. ⁠
⁠
I thought⁠
⁠
"Is there anything positive here? This sounds devastating."⁠
⁠
But what I didn't realize at the time was that Remy was placed in my arms to teach me something. ⁠
⁠
That she has special needs because that is the condition she needs to have to shine her purpose on the world. ⁠
⁠
I didn't realize at the time that Remy would be my spiritual teacher. ⁠
⁠
That she would teach me about unconditional love That she would show how resilient you can be in the face of adversity. That when you really think about it, bad things aren't always bad. ⁠
⁠
I think I need to learn from her especially now in the middle of this pandemic.⁠
⁠
I just need to be more like Remy and have the same resilience she has every day. ⁠
⁠
What are the "bad things" in your life that has changed you for the better? The things that maybe you thought at first were bad but ended up actually being a blessing?⁠
⁠
⁠
Do you know the single skill you need to make a marriage work well?

It's a skill. Not a talent. 

This one thing is what I've learned from 20 years with Zach. It's why we have a good relationship. 

It's the ability to communicate. 

Communication isn't just how well you can carry on a conversation. 

It's about really seeing your partner. 

Because that's what all of us want the most anyway, right?

To be seen and heard. 

In that, you will fight, argue have differences of opinions. You'll have silent treatment, resentment, power struggles, and annoyance. 

Because you don't just marry a person's being. 

You also marry their ego. 

And two egos cant get along. Two egos don't work together or can't connect as two souls can. 

That's why it's crucial to hear each other not by their actions but by their intention. Not by the things they say, but WHY they say it.   

I'm not saying that you don't also need to work at other stuff. Of course, you do. You need compromise, trust, love, compliments, quality time. They are all critical. 

But to connect in a way that makes you want to do those things, you have to know that your seen, heard, and understood. 

You have to be willing to cut past the egos. 

The WAY you do that IS the work. Not easy, but the skill is worth learning.

And it's not something you perfect. Not something that one day comes easy. 

It takes nurturing on a daily basis. 

But worth its weight in gold.

So learning the skill of communication is the only way to make a good relationship work. If you can't speak soul to soul, you don't have a chance. 

What do you think? What do you think is the most important ingredient to making a relationship successful?

⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#marriage #relationship #strongmarriage #autismparents #specialneedsfamilies #happymarriage #coparenting #autismparenting #marriages #relationshipmatters #specialneedsparents #autismfamily #specialneedsfamily #autismmarriage #marriedlife #marriagetips #specialneedsparent #specialneedsparenting
Every behavior is reaching to satisfy a need. 

There are 4 underlying reasons your child is behaving the way they are. 

They want to get away from something they don't like. Like running away because they don't want to eat their food. Or screaming in the store because they don't like the crowd etc

2 is they want attention. Good or bad. Any attention is fine for them if that's what they are seeking. In special needs, sometimes that behavior is destructive, but if it gets attention, they succeeded. 

3 is trying to access something they want. They want that toy, that iPad, that bike, that crayon. 

4 is sensory seeking. They either feel out of their comfort zone, feel sick, feel hot, cold, don't feel enough pressure, want the regulation; they will do what they can to seek it. 

All of these reasons are important to understand. If you don't understand why your child is misbehaving, you may respond in a way that doesn't address the need. 

If you give attention to bad behavior, your child's behavior was worth it. If you give them the toy at the store, so they stop screaming, your child got what they want. 

Correcting behavior starts with understanding why the behavior is happening in the first place. 

Do you struggle with knowing how to handle your child's behavior? Or why they are having behaviors?

That's the hard part, right?
My therapist asked me today.⁠
⁠
"What really brings you joy?"⁠
⁠
Is that a trick question? What do you mean what brings me joy?⁠
⁠
Do you mean besides my family?⁠
⁠
I had nothing. Literally nothing. ⁠
⁠
She asked me why I couldn't think of anything. ⁠
⁠
I said because I don't feel like I'm allowed to enjoy anything. ⁠
⁠
That was a telling answer. ⁠
⁠
That everything I do has to have a goal or purpose or take care of someone else. ⁠
⁠
I have things I enjoy, but I feel guilty every time I get a chance to do them. ⁠
⁠
I love spending time with my friends having a good conversation. But then I feel guilty that I'm not with my kids or husband. ⁠
⁠
I love taking photos and editing them. But I feel like I should be folding laundry. ⁠
⁠
I love listening to podcasts and reading self-help books, but I need to be doing something while I listen. ⁠
⁠
But if I could do anything, I don't know what that would be without the guilt. ⁠
⁠
What are some things you enjoy outside of your household?⁠
⁠
I need ideas here. ⁠
Hands down, the most important lesson being a special needs mom. ⁠
⁠
The reason it's so hard to be a special needs mom is that greatness is required. ⁠
⁠
And you can't be the person your child needs you to be if you don't grow.⁠
⁠
I try and remind myself of this every time Remy has a meltdown. Or throws her sister's drink across the room. Or runs out in front of traffic. ⁠
⁠
If those things were easy, I’d never know how to implement behavior strategies. I’d never learn how to work on communication. I'd never be able to understand her. ⁠
⁠
The reason I do this is that challenges make you pay attention. They force you to be creative. They force you to educate yourself. ⁠
⁠
So on those days when you just can't get through the day, reflect on them. And ask what lesson you need to learn. ⁠
⁠
That's the way to become a successful special needs mom.⁠
⁠
What do you think? Has your child taught you any lessons?⁠
⁠
⁠
I know⁠
I know all moms have a hard time with gratitude. It's so easy to see what others are doing and feel like we aren't doing enough. ⁠
⁠
But special needs moms struggle with this even more. You know how I know? Because I've been there on both sides. ⁠
⁠
 I was a regular mom for 10 years before I became a special needs mom. ⁠
⁠
And once you cross over to that new category, it feels like you get kicked out of the other one. ⁠
⁠
As Remy gets older, I see how different our family is. We aren't going to get invited to weddings and birthday parties with the kids. Won't join the soccer team or cheerleading squad. ⁠
⁠
We get stared at in public and have to fight for our daughter's human rights. The rights everyone else just gets naturally. ⁠
⁠
 But focusing on all the tough stuff that goes along with special needs parenting can tear us apart. ⁠
⁠
It's true; life would be easier if we didn't have the challenges that come along with having a child with severe epilepsy and autism. Doing daily life would be much simpler and a hell of a lot less expensive. ⁠
⁠
So it's more important to focus on the positives. Things fall in your lap when you're grateful. ⁠
⁠
It's like Newton's 3rd Law. For every action (force) in nature, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you put out in the world always comes back. ⁠
⁠
So if you spend your time wishing you had a better life and easier kid, you will get back more of what you don't want. But the more you focus on your blessings, the more blessings will come to you. ⁠
⁠
How have you managed to count your blessings? How do you practice gratitude?⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
. #autismawareness #asd #newtonslaw #autismmom #autismmoms #autismparenting #autismlife #autismfamily #specialneedskids #autismparents #specialneedsmoms #specialneedsawareness #specialneedsmom #specialneedsfamilies #specialneedschildren #specialneedsparent #autismmama #specialneedschild #specialneedsparenting #oprah #oprahwinfrey #positivemessage #positivethinker #lawofattraction #autism #inclusion #autismacceptance #autistic #epilepsy #epilepsymom
Want to hear a new behavior trick I learned?⁠
⁠
As I've been saying, I've been struggling with Remy's behavior. ⁠
⁠
One reason her behavior is getting worse is that we've run out of things to do. ⁠
⁠
Everythings shut down, and we are stuck at home all the time. ⁠
⁠
So I've been trying to figure out activities she wants to play with. ⁠
⁠
A problem is that every time I ask her what she wants to do, she tells me "NO" to everything. ⁠
⁠
"Do you want playdough or coloring?"⁠
⁠
"NO"⁠
⁠
After she tells me no to everything I ask, she goes and destroys something. ⁠
⁠
Our behavior therapist, aka BCBA, coached me on presenting options to Remy. ⁠
⁠
She said that I should stop ASKING her what SHE wants and present two options as statements or demands. ⁠
⁠
"You can play with Playdough or Coloring."⁠
⁠
Saying it in a way that doesn't leave an option to do anything else. ⁠
⁠
She demonstrated this to me, and it worked. ⁠
⁠
When I tried it, I kept falling in the ⁠
⁠
"Remy, do you want this? Or that?"⁠
⁠
And id immediately get ⁠
⁠
"NO"⁠
⁠
Just this small change made a huge difference. ⁠
But now I have to catch myself before asking.⁠
⁠
The problem is that Remy doesn't always know what she wants to do. But she does like having control. ⁠
⁠
Do you ask too many questions to your kids?⁠
⁠
⁠
View All Instagram Posts

Recent Instagram Posts

When we realized my daughter had special needs, I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen. ⁠
⁠
I cried, thinking about her future. Thinking about how she was going to be different. ⁠
⁠
Wondering how I would raise a daughter with a completely different operating system. ⁠
⁠
I thought⁠
⁠
"Is there anything positive here? This sounds devastating."⁠
⁠
But what I didn't realize at the time was that Remy was placed in my arms to teach me something. ⁠
⁠
That she has special needs because that is the condition she needs to have to shine her purpose on the world. ⁠
⁠
I didn't realize at the time that Remy would be my spiritual teacher. ⁠
⁠
That she would teach me about unconditional love That she would show how resilient you can be in the face of adversity. That when you really think about it, bad things aren't always bad. ⁠
⁠
I think I need to learn from her especially now in the middle of this pandemic.⁠
⁠
I just need to be more like Remy and have the same resilience she has every day. ⁠
⁠
What are the "bad things" in your life that has changed you for the better? The things that maybe you thought at first were bad but ended up actually being a blessing?⁠
⁠
⁠
Do you know the single skill you need to make a marriage work well?

It's a skill. Not a talent. 

This one thing is what I've learned from 20 years with Zach. It's why we have a good relationship. 

It's the ability to communicate. 

Communication isn't just how well you can carry on a conversation. 

It's about really seeing your partner. 

Because that's what all of us want the most anyway, right?

To be seen and heard. 

In that, you will fight, argue have differences of opinions. You'll have silent treatment, resentment, power struggles, and annoyance. 

Because you don't just marry a person's being. 

You also marry their ego. 

And two egos cant get along. Two egos don't work together or can't connect as two souls can. 

That's why it's crucial to hear each other not by their actions but by their intention. Not by the things they say, but WHY they say it.   

I'm not saying that you don't also need to work at other stuff. Of course, you do. You need compromise, trust, love, compliments, quality time. They are all critical. 

But to connect in a way that makes you want to do those things, you have to know that your seen, heard, and understood. 

You have to be willing to cut past the egos. 

The WAY you do that IS the work. Not easy, but the skill is worth learning.

And it's not something you perfect. Not something that one day comes easy. 

It takes nurturing on a daily basis. 

But worth its weight in gold.

So learning the skill of communication is the only way to make a good relationship work. If you can't speak soul to soul, you don't have a chance. 

What do you think? What do you think is the most important ingredient to making a relationship successful?

⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#marriage #relationship #strongmarriage #autismparents #specialneedsfamilies #happymarriage #coparenting #autismparenting #marriages #relationshipmatters #specialneedsparents #autismfamily #specialneedsfamily #autismmarriage #marriedlife #marriagetips #specialneedsparent #specialneedsparenting
Every behavior is reaching to satisfy a need. 

There are 4 underlying reasons your child is behaving the way they are. 

They want to get away from something they don't like. Like running away because they don't want to eat their food. Or screaming in the store because they don't like the crowd etc

2 is they want attention. Good or bad. Any attention is fine for them if that's what they are seeking. In special needs, sometimes that behavior is destructive, but if it gets attention, they succeeded. 

3 is trying to access something they want. They want that toy, that iPad, that bike, that crayon. 

4 is sensory seeking. They either feel out of their comfort zone, feel sick, feel hot, cold, don't feel enough pressure, want the regulation; they will do what they can to seek it. 

All of these reasons are important to understand. If you don't understand why your child is misbehaving, you may respond in a way that doesn't address the need. 

If you give attention to bad behavior, your child's behavior was worth it. If you give them the toy at the store, so they stop screaming, your child got what they want. 

Correcting behavior starts with understanding why the behavior is happening in the first place. 

Do you struggle with knowing how to handle your child's behavior? Or why they are having behaviors?

That's the hard part, right?
My therapist asked me today.⁠
⁠
"What really brings you joy?"⁠
⁠
Is that a trick question? What do you mean what brings me joy?⁠
⁠
Do you mean besides my family?⁠
⁠
I had nothing. Literally nothing. ⁠
⁠
She asked me why I couldn't think of anything. ⁠
⁠
I said because I don't feel like I'm allowed to enjoy anything. ⁠
⁠
That was a telling answer. ⁠
⁠
That everything I do has to have a goal or purpose or take care of someone else. ⁠
⁠
I have things I enjoy, but I feel guilty every time I get a chance to do them. ⁠
⁠
I love spending time with my friends having a good conversation. But then I feel guilty that I'm not with my kids or husband. ⁠
⁠
I love taking photos and editing them. But I feel like I should be folding laundry. ⁠
⁠
I love listening to podcasts and reading self-help books, but I need to be doing something while I listen. ⁠
⁠
But if I could do anything, I don't know what that would be without the guilt. ⁠
⁠
What are some things you enjoy outside of your household?⁠
⁠
I need ideas here. ⁠
Hands down, the most important lesson being a special needs mom. ⁠
⁠
The reason it's so hard to be a special needs mom is that greatness is required. ⁠
⁠
And you can't be the person your child needs you to be if you don't grow.⁠
⁠
I try and remind myself of this every time Remy has a meltdown. Or throws her sister's drink across the room. Or runs out in front of traffic. ⁠
⁠
If those things were easy, I’d never know how to implement behavior strategies. I’d never learn how to work on communication. I'd never be able to understand her. ⁠
⁠
The reason I do this is that challenges make you pay attention. They force you to be creative. They force you to educate yourself. ⁠
⁠
So on those days when you just can't get through the day, reflect on them. And ask what lesson you need to learn. ⁠
⁠
That's the way to become a successful special needs mom.⁠
⁠
What do you think? Has your child taught you any lessons?⁠
⁠
⁠
I know⁠
I know all moms have a hard time with gratitude. It's so easy to see what others are doing and feel like we aren't doing enough. ⁠
⁠
But special needs moms struggle with this even more. You know how I know? Because I've been there on both sides. ⁠
⁠
 I was a regular mom for 10 years before I became a special needs mom. ⁠
⁠
And once you cross over to that new category, it feels like you get kicked out of the other one. ⁠
⁠
As Remy gets older, I see how different our family is. We aren't going to get invited to weddings and birthday parties with the kids. Won't join the soccer team or cheerleading squad. ⁠
⁠
We get stared at in public and have to fight for our daughter's human rights. The rights everyone else just gets naturally. ⁠
⁠
 But focusing on all the tough stuff that goes along with special needs parenting can tear us apart. ⁠
⁠
It's true; life would be easier if we didn't have the challenges that come along with having a child with severe epilepsy and autism. Doing daily life would be much simpler and a hell of a lot less expensive. ⁠
⁠
So it's more important to focus on the positives. Things fall in your lap when you're grateful. ⁠
⁠
It's like Newton's 3rd Law. For every action (force) in nature, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you put out in the world always comes back. ⁠
⁠
So if you spend your time wishing you had a better life and easier kid, you will get back more of what you don't want. But the more you focus on your blessings, the more blessings will come to you. ⁠
⁠
How have you managed to count your blessings? How do you practice gratitude?⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
.⁠
. #autismawareness #asd #newtonslaw #autismmom #autismmoms #autismparenting #autismlife #autismfamily #specialneedskids #autismparents #specialneedsmoms #specialneedsawareness #specialneedsmom #specialneedsfamilies #specialneedschildren #specialneedsparent #autismmama #specialneedschild #specialneedsparenting #oprah #oprahwinfrey #positivemessage #positivethinker #lawofattraction #autism #inclusion #autismacceptance #autistic #epilepsy #epilepsymom
Want to hear a new behavior trick I learned?⁠
⁠
As I've been saying, I've been struggling with Remy's behavior. ⁠
⁠
One reason her behavior is getting worse is that we've run out of things to do. ⁠
⁠
Everythings shut down, and we are stuck at home all the time. ⁠
⁠
So I've been trying to figure out activities she wants to play with. ⁠
⁠
A problem is that every time I ask her what she wants to do, she tells me "NO" to everything. ⁠
⁠
"Do you want playdough or coloring?"⁠
⁠
"NO"⁠
⁠
After she tells me no to everything I ask, she goes and destroys something. ⁠
⁠
Our behavior therapist, aka BCBA, coached me on presenting options to Remy. ⁠
⁠
She said that I should stop ASKING her what SHE wants and present two options as statements or demands. ⁠
⁠
"You can play with Playdough or Coloring."⁠
⁠
Saying it in a way that doesn't leave an option to do anything else. ⁠
⁠
She demonstrated this to me, and it worked. ⁠
⁠
When I tried it, I kept falling in the ⁠
⁠
"Remy, do you want this? Or that?"⁠
⁠
And id immediately get ⁠
⁠
"NO"⁠
⁠
Just this small change made a huge difference. ⁠
But now I have to catch myself before asking.⁠
⁠
The problem is that Remy doesn't always know what she wants to do. But she does like having control. ⁠
⁠
Do you ask too many questions to your kids?⁠
⁠
⁠
View All Instagram Posts

Get My Podcast Delivered Directly to Your Inbox!

Get My Podcast Alerts!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.