Are you suffering right now? I want to talk about this because it’s been top of mind as I look out into the world. Civil unrest, racial divide, a pandemic that’s costing hundreds of thousands of deaths. Jobs lost, families fearing eviction, schools out, kids home, loved one’s dying or being sick, and there’s not much we can do about it.
I’ve struggled the last few months and many times have felt lost. Not knowing where I’m going or what I’m doing.
Why is Family So Important?
I was walking my dog and looked out at the beautiful leaves on the trees. I was in awe of the colors and beauty. But you look at the ground, and those leaves are falling off.
It reminds me of where we are in the world. Everything we know is falling to the ground. And soon enough, it will rot and be gone.
What’s left is the bare branches and naked trees.
My son asked me why the leaves fall in the autumn. I looked it up and found that it’s to protect the branches from the storms and rain. That getting rid of all that weighs it down is protecting it so it can survive and bear fruit in the spring.
Everything in our lives is falling to the ground. We think we are losing everything because all our comforts and routines are being stripped away. But when everything is stripped away, it forces you to look at the bare bones of your life. What do you actually have? What is left after the job is lost, the house is gone, your security goes away?
It’s you and your kids and the love you have for your family.
You don’t have the luxury of having the same distractions you once had before.
How Do You Suffer Consciously?
So, if all you have is the foundation, your family and kids, how are you nurturing it all? How are you taking care of the things you do have in your life?
It’s so easy to let life get a hold of you and get stuck in your suffering.
So my biggest piece of advice right now is to suffer consciously.
I love the way that Eckart Tolle explains suffering consciously. If you haven’t read his book A New Earth, go get it. It’s the BEST book you will ever read. It’s all about helping you find your life’s purpose and make sense of suffering.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could be spared from all suffering? No, it wouldn’t. You would not evolve as human beings and would remain shallow, identified with the external form of things. Suffering drives you deeper. The paradox is that suffering is caused by identification with form and erodes identification with form. A lot of it is caused by the ego, although eventually, suffering destroys the ego—but not until you suffer consciously. Humanity is destined to go beyond suffering, but not in the way the ego thinks. One of the ego’s many incorrect assumptions, one of its many deceitful thoughts is “I should not have to suffer.” Sometimes the thought gets transferred to someone close to you: “My child should not have to suffer.” That thought itself lies at the root of suffering. Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of the ego. As long as you resist suffering, the more energy and power you give suffering. When you accept suffering, You allow that pain to be there and let it burn up quickly.” – Echart Tolle
I’m not saying that you invite suffering in. But if you can accept that this is where you are, your branches will be so strong that when those leaves come back, you will be resilient, strong, and will be able to bear more weight on your trunk.
How is Loss a Blessing?
I’ve had a tough several months. First, my mom passed away. Then my brother passed away, and just last week, my 26-year-old cousin died.
I watch the news, and the pandemic is growing faster and faster.
I can’t take my kids anywhere, and the weather is getting colder. We are forced to be in. All day, every day.
Everything we knew is gone. Just leaving our family. In our house, all the time.
I used to say that I don’t have time for anything important because I have so much going on. Now I do. Now, all I have is time because all the distractions have been removed.
This is the blessing of loss.
You have the opportunity to evaluate where you are and where you’re headed. To figure out what you want your life to be. What are the most important things to focus on?
What I Am Focusing On in This Next Year
For me, with this podcast and what I’m doing with my new special needs, parent friends are to evaluate where I’m putting my focus. I realized I got off track of my goal. My goal is to create a course or online training to help special needs parents really transform their lives. I’ve spent so much time on Instagram and working on the podcast that I haven’t been able to focus on what will make the biggest difference.
So, I’m scaling back. I want to show up for you in the most authentic way I can. But that means that I need to say no to a lot of stuff that’s distracting me from accomplishing what my heart is directing me to do.
So, from now on, I’m going to be here on the podcast, but not on a regular weekly basis.
But subscribe anyway. When I do release a new episode, it will be at the time when it’s the most important. And I don’t want you to miss it.
But where I will be showing up on a regular basis, is your email inbox. Have you signed up for my love notes? If not, click here so you won’t miss a thing!
This is the place that I can really get to know you and hear where you most need help.
Along with these emails, I will be putting my head down to create an amazing online course that will show you step by step how to navigate the special needs parenting journey.
But I will be creating it based on your exact needs. Needs that I can only learn about if we can connect in a more personal way.
Thank you for being here and coming along this journey with me. I appreciate you more than you know and I am so excited to dive in deeper and really be of service.
Subscribe to this podcast, join the email list, and follow me on Instagram.
Bye for now.